


Hey, Jude.

by Kevin_freaking_solo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:25:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1529654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kevin_freaking_solo/pseuds/Kevin_freaking_solo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is a freshman in college, alone for the first time when he meets a sophomore named Cas. Their love for each other seems eternal, but can it survive Dean's constant self-loathing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1   
August, 2011  
Dean’s first week of college was over and it honestly wasn’t too bad. Dean needed the independence, the alone time. He had a lot of responsibility at home. Looking over Sammy, working at Dad’s shops, all while his Dad continuously reminds him that he’s doing a horrible job. Constantly making him feel worthless. To be honest, if it weren’t for Sam, Adam and Bobby, he’d never go back. 

Dean decided to major in criminal justice, in the hopes of someday becoming a cop, or investigator maybe. Ever since his mom was killed in a house robbery 15 years ago, Dean wanted to devote his life to saving people. To make his mom proud. 

After his English 101 class, Dean decided to go to the library for a change of scenery. Dean had spent most of his first week in his dorm, working on homework or rereading one of his old favorites, Harry Potter. But without Sammy, he’s been getting kinda lonely. So he puts his books in his bag and makes his way over there. 

As he walked in, he was overwhelmed with the entire room. The entrance had two grand staircases that led to a second level that seemed to contain a million books. To the left there was a small cafe, that filled the entire library with the aroma of coffee. Dean wandered around until he found an empty table to sit at. He sat down, put his books on the table and opened his favorite book The Deathly Hallows. 

Books were always a comfort to Dean. Especially fantasy novels. They were an escape for him, whenever he got the chance he’d crack open Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, or anything else filled with magic and adventure. He would become immersed in the books so much that hours would pass and he’d forget where he was. And for Dean, that was the best part. He could forget about his Dad, and the argument they just had, or stop worrying about Sammy for an hour or so. 

Dean was suddenly pulled out of his fantasy world when a deep voice said to him, “Did you see the movies for that one yet? I gotta say part one was a bit dry, but I’d be lying if I said part two didn’t make me cry”. Dean looked up to see a tall, strong, young man with dark brown hair, and blue eyes that stood out like an ocean. Awe-struck with his beauty, Dean fumbled clumsily over a response, 

“Oh yeah, uh, I uh, liked part two better too” Dean began to blush, he was never good at talking to guys. Talking to girls was easier for Dean because society saw it as normal. Plus Dean really didn’t talk about his bisexuality. His dad would never accept it, and he never had time for relationships to begin with. Just the occasional cheerleader he’d bring home so his dad would think he’s a stud. But now he’s on his own, and he can live his life the way he wants. 

“My name’s Cas, mind if I join you?” Cas asked. At this point Dean was extremely flustered. 

“Yeah, uh, sure, go for it...My name’s Dean, by the way” Dean replied, feeling his face heat up. Cas took a seat across from him. A few seconds of silence had passed but to Dean it felt like an eternity. He had no idea what to say to him, he was a complete stranger, attractive, and Dean wasn’t exactly a pro at making friends. 

The silence finally broke as Cas said, “So, this is your first week isn’t it?” 

“Is it that obvious?” Dean replied, somewhat embarrassed. 

“Only a little, I can tell because you have your backpack filled with all of your books, we call it a freshman backpack” Cas said jokingly, “But don’t worry, it gets easier really quickly”. Dean chuckled awkwardly. 

“So what year are you?” Dean asked 

“I’m a sophomore, majoring in film studies. I want to make movies someday.” Cas said with a gleam in his eye. Dean could tell right away that he was passionate about it, the way the tone of his voice built up with excitement. “Any idea what you want to major in?” Cas asked. 

“Criminal justice or something with forensics. I want to help people, do something meaningful, ya know?” Dean replied. Although the conversation was a bit generic, they both felt very intrigued. Something about each other was pulling them in. 

They continued to talk about their majors and what they liked about the school. Cas told Dean about which professors are total dicks, and to never under any circumstances order a turkey burger from the cafeteria. Dean laughed. 

“Hey, since it’s your first week here, why don’t I show you around campus? If you’re not busy?” Cas asked.

Dean’s heart pounded, but he wanted to spend more time with him, so he said yes. 

“Yeah sure, that would be great!” Dean replied. 

“Terrific, I just want to get a cup of coffee at the cafe before we go. You’ll quickly learn that the life of a college student doesn’t warrant for much sleep, and a regular dosage of caffeine is required” Cas said jokingly. 

Dean chuckled as he said, “Oh boy, can’t wait”. 

They walked over to the cafe and Cas went up to the barista and said, “Uh, I’ll have a large mocha latte with an extra shot of an espresso and….Dean you want something? It’s on me” 

“Oh no, you don’t have to get me anything, honestly, thank you though” Dean said, flustered. 

“Aw come on Dean, I know I scared you away from the turkey burgers but the coffee here is fantastic” Cas said with a big grin on his face. 

Dean gave in, “Uh, I guess I’ll just have the same thing”. A few minutes later the barista handed them their drinks and they left the library. “Thanks for the coffee Cas, you seriously didn’t have to. I’ll pay you back” Dean said. 

“I don't think so!" Cas said in a jokingly authoritative tone. “It’s the least I can do, I remember my first week, I was alone and terrified. I wished someone would’ve come up to me and try to show me the ropes, and I wouldn’t want you walking around like a lost puppy, coffeeless” Cas said as he playfully hit Dean’s shoulder. Dean chuckled trying to contain himself, when he felt like someone had set a firecracker off in his chest. 

They walked around campus, as the sun began to set. Cas pointed out all the different buildings, dormitories, and they eventually ended up sitting on the bleachers of a baseball field that hasn’t been touched in years. It had an eerie feel to it. It was so distant from the rest of campus it felt like they were isolated. The sand had weeds and grass growing up from underneath it and the fencing was rusted. 

“So what’s the deal with the baseball field? If they don’t have a team anymore, why didn’t they just get rid of it?” Dean asked. 

“Well they professors tell us all that the school just doesn’t have the funding to turn it into anything else, so they leave it for the students to play around with but no one ever does...I personally think that baseball is the world’s boringest sport in the history of the universe. It’s just so much standing, and waiting around; and when something actually does happen it lasts for like 30 seconds and the game lasts for hours. I never understood the interest in it. When I was younger, my older brothers would always want to play baseball outside. They’d always try to make me come out and play with them so they could have two teams, but I’d always stay inside and watch old movies.” Cas said, he chuckled nostalgically. “What about you, you a fan of the exciting game?” He asked sarcastically. 

“I’m kinda indifferent to it, I never grew up on sports really. I lost my mom when I was young, so my dad always needed my help around the house or his shops. In between all of that, school, and taking care of my little brother, there wasn’t much time for anything else” Dean said. 

“I lost my mom too when I was young, it’s really rough sometimes. It’s just me and my brothers. My dad bailed after she died” Cas said firmly, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Aw man, that sucks. I mean my dad stuck around but he definitely didn’t make it easier for anyone. Except himself really”, Dean couldn’t believe he was opening up this much, especially to a guy he had just met that day. He wouldn’t even talk to Sammy about this stuff. But it was just so effortless. They had a connection, and they could both feel it. But they just didn’t know what to do with it yet. 

They sat there quietly finishing off their coffee, as the orange sky faded into a deep blue, that dean could’ve sworn matched perfectly to Cas’ eyes. They got up and Cas walked Dean back to his dorm. He slipped him a piece of small piece of paper on it with his phone number on it and said, “Call me sometime, don’t be shy Dean” he said, then playfully winking at Dean. 

Then, something came over Dean, as if a new, confident person had emerged within him, Dean tucked the paper in his pocket, dropped his backpack and brought his hand up to Cas’ hand. It happened with in a matter of seconds but they felt as if they were in slow motion. Dean slowly moved his hand up his arm, and moved forward slowly until he could feel Cas’ breath on his face. He gently grabbed Cas’ face and pressed his lips against his. Cas then moved his hands up to Dean’s back. They pecked at each other’s lips playfully, and Dean slowly moved his thumb down Cas’ cheekbones, releasing a small moan from Cas’ mouth. They slowly separated, and Dean completely astonished with himself, quickly apologized, “Oh, gosh, sorry, I uh, I don’t know what came over me”. 

Cas laughed, “Well whatever came over you, I wouldn’t hate it if it happened more often, I’ll see you later, Dean”. Cas pecked him goodbye and walked home to his dorm. 

Dean walked into his dorm, thankful that no one was in the hallway to see that, and that he didn’t have a roommate. He lied down on his bed staring up at the ceiling. The word happy, just didn’t seem adequate to describe what exactly Dean was feeling. It felt like an overwhelming tickle in his chest that was radiating from the middle of his heart. Creating a warmth that spread all throughout him. He took out the paper from his pocket with Cas’ number on it and smiled. He wanted to call him right now and tell him to come back, and never leave. Dean didn’t understand how he could feel so strongly about a person he had just met. Dean put the piece of paper next to his pillow and looked at the numbers on it till he drifted into what was the best sleep he had in years.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

The next day Dean woke up refreshed with a smile on his face. It was a Saturday, and it was about six a.m. Dean was used to waking up early, because he always would go to his Dad’s shops to help Bobby open them up before school. He liked mornings. Everything was quiet, people and animals were still asleep. The ground was wet with dew and it always seemed to have a certain refreshing smell. Dean would take deep breaths of the cool air and feel it fill his lungs. It was peaceful. But the best part of it would be to watch the sun rise. Each sunrise was different than the last, a fresh canvas each day gets painted organically as cool colors fade to warm. If Dean got the chance, he’d sit on the hood of his impala with a cup of coffee in his hands and watch the sun emerge out of the horizon. 

Dean went down to the bathrooms to wash his face and brush his teeth. No one was in the bathrooms yet, seeing as it was six a.m on a Saturday and most of the residents had just gone to bed a couple hours ago after they returned from various parties. The hot water splashed against Dean’s skin and he took a small gasp for air as he patted his face with a towel. He started to think about Cas, and pulled the now crinkled paper with his number on it out of his pocket. When should he call him? He didn’t want to seem desperate, but Dean wanted to see him again. Dean passed his thumb over the paper to smooth out the crinkles and thought about the kiss. He thought about the tickle of Cas’ lips on his, the stubble on his chin, the firm grip of his hands against his lower back. Dean craved him. 

Dean grabbed his toothbrush, toothpaste and brush and headed back towards his dorm. Dean thought about calling Castiel but he didn’t want to wake him. So he waited. He sat in his desk, watched a few videos on YouTube, it still was only seven a.m. Then Dean heard a knock on his door. Dean got up and looked through the peephole in the door and his chest filled with warmth when he saw it was Cas. 

Dean opened the door and said, “Cas, wow, what are you doing here?”. 

“I uh, didn’t know if you’d be up and I don’t have your number. But I’m glad you’re up, I was wondering if you’d maybe want to get breakfast with me?” Cas looked at the desk behind Dean to see an empty bowl of cereal, “But it looks like you already ate…” Cas’ cheeks grew red, and Dean smiled. He looked so cute when he was flustered. 

Dean grabbed his leather jacket and said, “Where are we going?”. 

Cas grinned and said, “There’s an old pancake house a few miles off campus, they have the best bacon in the state.” 

“Sounds like a date, let’s go. I’ll drive. You can meet my baby” Dean said with pride. If there was anything Dean was proud of, it was his car. A ‘67 Chevy black impala. A classic. And Dean kept it in mint condition. They walked out of the dormitory and headed towards the parking lot. “This is her, my dad gave it to me when I turned 16. It’s probably the only nice thing he’s ever done for me” Dean chuckled sadly. 

“Well it sure is a beautiful car” Cas said as he hopped into the passenger seat. “Once we get off campus you’re just gonna make a left on Smith Avenue and drive for like a mile and a half and the pancake house is on the right.” He instructed. 

Dean followed Cas’ directions and they pulled into the pancake house. They walked inside and grabbed a booth. 

A waitress walked up to them and said, “Cas! How great to see you again. Pretty early in the morning for you isn’t it?” 

Cas smiled and said, “It was easy to wake up this morning Ms. Mills, couldn’t wait to get an order of your fantastic bacon.” 

“Cas, how many times do I have to tell you, you can call me Jody! I’ll put in an order of your usual, and your friend here? What’ll he be having?” She smiled at Dean, and from the look on her face Dean could tell that she knew they weren’t just friends. 

“Uh, some toast and bacon would be great, a cup of coffee too if you get the chance” Dean replied. 

“I’ll put it right in!” Jody said and she walked off to the kitchen. 

“So you’re an early bird I take it? I didn’t think you’d be up when I came around. I was worried I was gonna wake you” Cas said. 

“I had been up for like an hour by the time you came around, I wanted to call you as soon as I woke up, but I thought I might scare you off” Dean said jokingly. 

“With a face like that? Impossible” Cas scoffed. Dean blushed, and played with the fork on his napkin. “So what’s your story Dean, I don’t even know your last name. But I want to know everything”. 

“My story? Ugh, it’s just one big mess. Honestly, it’s boring and if I told you, you’d just think I’m trying to make you feel sorry for me” Dean replied. 

"I seriously doubt that, tell me, I want know all about you" Cas said. 

"Well, my mom died when I was really young, like 4 years old. Someone broke in to our home when we were sleeping. My dad fell asleep watching the game in the basement so my mom was alone upstairs. The guy came in through back door, and snuck upstairs. Took her jewelry, and she woke up and saw him. He stabbed her to death." Dean's voice began to crack a little. He never talked about his mom, he barely did with Sam. Dean sipped some water and tried to pull himself together.  
"My dad woke up to hear her screams and ran upstairs. He handed me my baby brother and told me to run, as he chased after the guy. He got away and the police never found him. I don't know what my dad was like before she died, but he changed after that. Once I was old enough to use a stove without burning the house down he'd leave me home alone with my kid brother... for days. Either that or we'd stay with our uncle Bobby. I don't know where he'd go. But he'd leave and we wouldn't even get a phone call to check in. It's like he just didn't give a shit ya know?" Dean said, exhausted yet relieved from what he just revealed to Cas. 

"Damn, that's rough. Well if anyone knows about a dead beat dad it's me. My dad left once my mom died. She died giving birth to me..." Jody set down their orders on their table, "Thanks Ms. Mills" 

"For gods sake Cas, it's Jody!" She said as she walked off to the kitchen. 

"Anyways, after she passed my dad ran off. It was just me and my older brothers Gabriel and Luke, and my sister Rachel. Luckily my brothers were old enough to get jobs, my sister essentially raised me" Cas said, and Dean could tell he felt guilty about it for some reason. It's not like he could've done anything about it, he was a baby.

Cas bit on some bacon and grew quiet. Dean reached over and laid his hand on top of Cas'. Cas looked up at into Dean's eyes. They didn't say anything out loud but they some how were able to say to each other, "You're not alone". Cas made a sad attempt to smile back at Dean. 

They finished eating their breakfast and Cas put down a five dollar bill down on the table for Jody. They walked off to Dean's impala and got in the car. Dean turned on radio and "Hey Jude" by the Beatles played. Dean smiled. 

"What?" Cas said, smiling. 

"This is my favorite song" Dean said as he started to drive out of the parking lot. He hummed along, and Cas started to mumble the words. 

Remember, to let her into your heart. Then you can start, to make it better. 

Dean pulled over on to the side of the road. 

"What are you doing, Dean?" Cas asked. 

"I gotta kiss you, now." Dean demanded, unbuckling his seatbelt. He leaned over and took Cas' face with his hands, pulling him onto his lips. Cas taken back by Dean's sudden grasp, only managed to say a mumbled, "Woah" before he closed his eyes and settled into Dean's grip. Cas unbuckled his seatbelt so he could lean into him more, his hand pressed into Dean's back, as his tongue gently caressed Dean's. Their lips moved slowly, as if they were trying to taste every last inch of each other. 

Na, na, na, na na na, na na na na, hey Jude 

Their speed grew as the song built, each movement growing more intense. Dean's hands moved to Cas' upper thigh as he stroked it up and down. Cas slipped his hand under deans Black Sabbath t-shirt and moved his hand up and down his chest as Dean gasped from the cold touch of Cas' hands. Cas moaned as Dean palmed over Cas' dick. Dean moved his lips to Cas' neck and pecked ever so gently, driving Cas crazy as he begged for more. 

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay" Dean whispered into Cas' neck. 

The two finally pulled apart, heavily breathing. Cas chuckled, as he exhaled and said "Damn, I really like you". 

"Me too" Dean said with a smile, "I just don't want to go too fast". 

"It's okay, I think that's a good idea" Cas replied. 

Dean and Cas put their seat belts back on. Cas leaned in and gave Dean a kiss on the cheek and said, "Thanks for coming out to breakfast with me...and for making out, you're a damn good kisser". 

Dean laughed as his face turned red. Dean had kissed plenty of girls in his time but nothing compared to kissing Cas. Dean started to drive off as he replied, "Anytime, Cas". 

They promised each other they wouldn't go too fast, but they couldn't keep that promise for long, and they both knew it. Dean dropped Cas off at his dorm and they slowly kissed each other goodbye. Dean watched Cas walk off into the dormitory and softly smiled. 

October, 2011 

It had been two months since they met in the library, and they had seen each other everyday since. They fell in love immediately, and effortlessly. Cas spent a lot of time with Dean in his dorm, since he didn't have a roommate and Cas did. His roommate Garth had good intentions, but honestly Cas couldn't spend too much time around him. He was quite the character, constantly making up his own cliches. And if you tried to get him to stop talking about his dog or mom...good luck. 

Cas and Dean were laying in Dean's bed. Cas had wrapped his arm around dean's neck and was playing with his hair as he read his political science textbook. Dean was reading a required reading for his English class, Wuthering Heights. Dean had Black Sabbath softly playing in the background, he didn't like total silence. Dean rested his head in Cas' neck, which was warm. Cas was always warm, Dean jokes that it's because he's smoking hot, he just radiates heat. 

"Whatcha thinking about, Dean?" Cas asked. 

"I'm thinking that Heathcliff is a jerk for leaving Katherine, I'm trying to read Cas" Dean whined. 

"But Dean, I'm bored" Cas complained, somewhat reminiscent of an irritated child. 

"You need that class to graduate Cas, you should study". 

"But it's so goddamn boring Dean, I don't care about politics. They're all pompous, power hungry, rich assholes". 

"I agree with you babe, but" Dean's sentence was cut short as Cas started to kiss Dean's jawline up and down. "Honey, come on we need to focus" 

"Did you honestly think we'd get any work done?" Cas joked as he pecked Dean's ear. 

Dean placed his book on his night stand and looked at his clock. "Wow, 13 whole minutes of studying. Must be a new record for us" he said as he rolled over on top of Cas. 

He placed his palms around Cas' neck, drawing him in as close as he could. "Was it really only thirteen minutes? It felt like hours" Cas said with his lips pressed against Dean's. 

Cas shoved his textbook off the bed. Cas began to pull off Dean's shirt, and Dean did the same. Their bare chests pressed against each other, the heat between them growing. Dean moved his lips to Cas' neck, causing Cas to let out a soft moan. 

Cas began to move his hands down Dean's stomach, reaching his hand towards the top of his jeans. Dean opened his eyes and lifted his head from Cas' neck. 

"I'm ready, are you?" Cas asked. They had talked about when they would be intimate before, but they both agreed that they should wait. Dean had never been with a guy before, and he was nervous. But with Cas, it felt right. With Cas, he had a home. With Cas he had someone that could love him, someone that could hold him and numb the pain. They needed each other. 

Dean smiled softly and nodded yes, moving his lips back to Cas', their tongues meeting with the most gentle touch. They separated briefly as Dean sat up, straddling Cas' hips. He traced the bottom of Cas' chin, following to his neck and down to his chest, with the tips of his fingers. He followed the center of his chest to his glistening abdomen, admiring the beauty of his anatomy. He stopped at the top of his jeans, and slowly unbuttoned them, and moved to the zipper. 

Dean moved to the side of Cas so he could remove his jeans, leaving Cas in his tight boxer briefs. Dean then began to kiss his hip bones. Sucking on them tenderly, he slowly kissed his way to the front of Cas' boxers. Kissing over his underwear, he caressed the slowly stiffening bulge with his tongue. Cas couldn't help but let a repressed heavy breath out. 

"Oh my god, Dean, please just take me already" Cas begged, pulling at the bed sheets. 

Dean obeyed, slowly pulling down the thin sheet of fabric that was seperating Dean's lips from the hot skin of Cas' throbbing cock. He moved his hands underneath Cas to cup his tight cheeks, and bring him closer. He finally took in Cas' dick, slowly, swirling his tongue around the tip. He removed his hand from his ass to the base of his cock, stroking it as he moved his lips up and down. 

"Yes, yes, oh my oh--" Cas said in short, shallow breaths. 

Dean could feel his own cock growing in his jeans, fighting to escape the denim. He began to pick up in speed, not leaving an inch of Cas' cock untouched. He then took in every inch of him, feeling Cas begin to breach his throat, he knew he was about to come. 

"Dean, oh god, Dean, yes, yes, Dea--" Cas' screams were cut off short as he gripped tight onto Dean's head. He shut his eyes as he came into his mouth. Dean licked his lips as he sat up. Cas sat up and grabbed dean by the back of his neck and kissed him. 

"I love you, Dean" Cas whispered, so quietly that it seemed as if he meant to think it to himself. He looked up at Dean with worry, neither of them had said "I love you" yet. Dean smiled from ear to ear. 

"I am so in love with you" he replied. Cas smiled wrapping his arms around Dean's neck, completely ravishing Dean's lips with his. 

He rolled over on top of him and lifted his head, "What do you want, I want to make you so happy, I'll do anything for you" Cas said. 

Dean moved Cas' hand to the front of his jeans, and kissed him. 

"I don't want you" he kissed Cas again, this time on his neck, "to stop kissing me" Dean said, kissing him on his forehead. 

Cas happily obliged as he playfully kissed every bit of Deans face that he could. As he kissed his forehead, his chin, his cheekbones, he pulled Dean's pants off and immediately removed his boxers. He threw the clothing onto the floor and firmly gripped Dean's already hard cock. Dean has been aching for Cas' touch for weeks. When Cas' soft, strong hands met the hot skin of his dick Dean gasped in pleasure. 

"I got you baby" Cas said in a comforting tone, as he continued to kiss the corner of Dean's neck. He moved his hand up and down slowly stroking him. Never once seperating his lips from Dean's. Their tongues moved with the speed of Cas' hand. Slow, and hot, Dean began to move his hips up and down to the rhythm of Cas' strokes. 

"Ohh, Cas, shit, oh shit" Dean whimpered, pressing his finger tips deep into Cas' shoulder blades. Cas began to move his hand up and down more quickly, Dean attempting to keep up with the speed, but struggling as the pleasure built and built. Then, with their lips still connected, Dean felt a wave of pleasure flow through his whole body. Heat filling him, he came into Cas' hand. He stroked him slowly through his orgasm, as Dean yelled Cas' name. Cas kissed Dean and then lifted his head to look at him, both covered in each other's sweat. 

"I love you so fucking much" Dean said, pulling Cas into his body to lay with him. Dean wrapping his arms around his side, spooning Cas. 

"I will never stop loving you, Dean" Cas replied. They slowly fell asleep there, in each other's arms. In this moment in their serene slumber, the world didn't exist. It was only them, and that, that was perfection.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

It was the next morning and Cas and Dean woke up in each other’s arms. It was seven in the morning and Dean and Cas didn’t have class that day. Wednesday was the one day a week when Cas and Dean could spend the whole day together. They sometimes liked to go for long drives in the impala. They’d leave before sunrise, drive out for miles in any direction and pull over when the sun began to rise. They would then sit on the hood of the impala, and watch the sun rise above the horizon of what seemed like endless fields of golden wheat. As they watched the brilliant, fiery sun make its entrance into the sky they would hold each other quietly. Not needing to fill the silence with conversation. That was the beautiful thing about them. They could be perfectly happy doing absolutely nothing, as long as they were together. 

Dean got out of bed first, kissed Cas on the top of his head and went to the bathroom to shower. 

"I'll be right back baby" Dean said as he left. 

"Mmmkay" Cas managed to mutter, still half asleep. Cas rubbed his eyes and sat up in a slow stretch. He threw on one of Dean's Metallica t-shirts and brushed threw his hair. As he freshened up in dean's mirror he noticed a picture, peaking underneath one of Dean's text books. He pulled it out to see a young Dean, and his mother. She was sitting next to him, as he held a newly born Sam which appears to be for the first time. Cas sadly smiles at the photo, seeing how tenderly Dean holds Sam, and how brightly his mother smiles at them. It's almost as if you can see Dean promising to Sam to protect him no matter what, in that very moment. 

"Whatcha got there?" Dean asked as he walked back in from his shower. 

"You were so cute when you were little. And your mother was beautiful, Dean" Cas replied. 

"She was. I love that photo" Dean replied, half smiling. He picked up his leather jacket from his chair, "Let's go". 

This Wednesday felt different. They missed the sunrise, but they still wanted to go out for a drive. Dean drove to their favorite spot, an old barn that had been abandoned years ago about thirty minutes away from campus. No one tends to it anymore, but every summer the field fills with weeds that grow to be as tall as Dean. Dean pulled into the barnyard and removed the key from the ignition. Cas and Dean got out of the car and sat on the hood, they stared at the birds sitting on the power line at the end of the field. Cas could tell by the way he held his hand that Dean was worried. He usually is so gentle and tender, as if he sees Cas as a glass doll that if you grip too tight, will shatter. But Dean was holding onto his hand firmly, moving his thumb up and down in an almost panicked manner. 

Dean didn’t speak much on the way there, and that didn’t bother Cas. Dean was a quiet person. But Cas was worried. Dean was deep in thought. He wasn’t looking at the sky or the birds, he had his eyes on one fixed point. A simple weed growing in the field that seemed to just peer over the rest. He never moved his eyes from this point. 

“Are you okay Dean? You seem...tense” Cas said, concerned. 

“My dad called me today” Dean replied. 

Cas knew what this meant. He had told him about his father. The absent figure in Sam and his life. The man who only showed up, drunk, and angry. He never contacted him unless he had been drinking and felt the need to make someone feel worthless. Why he bothered answering, Cas never knew. He never understood why Dean so badly wanted to impress this man who cared so little. Dean never had a childhood, he spent his adolescence caring for Sammy. The closest thing he had to normalcy would be the occasional weekend spent at Bobby’s. Here he’d at least get to toss a baseball around, or watch cartoons. Bobby was the father that Sam and Dean never had. But his real father, well it’s no mystery as to why Dean seems to think so little of himself. 

Cas was quiet for a few seconds. 

“What did he say?” Cas asked. 

“He’s coming. Here. Next weekend.” Dean replied. 

“He’s coming?! But I thought Sam was visiting that weekend?” Cas asked

“Yeah, he’s coming with him I guess”.

“But you were gonna spend the weekend with him, catching up. We were gonna go out to dinner and I know how much you miss him even if you won’t admit it”. 

“Yeah I guess that fun weekend is gonna have to happen another time then” 

“Why is he doing this? This doesn’t sound like anything he’d do at all. You told me he never even went with you to see the college, he just handed you a few grand and said ‘Leave’”. 

“He said there’s someone I need to meet, someone important” 

“And he didn’t tell you who it was? Does Sam know? Can you ask him?” 

“I called Sam right after and he says he doesn’t know either. Cas, I’m gonna tell him about us when he gets here” 

“Dean, are you sure about that? He doesn’t exactly sound like the type of person that would be understanding about us…”   
“I know he won’t, but I’m tired Cas. I’m tired of pretending around him. I’m tired of constantly trying to be the person he wants me to be then getting shot down. Constantly seeing the disappointment and hatred in his eyes when he looks at me...I can’t do it anymore” 

“Baby, I get it trust me, but do you honestly think telling him you’re with a guy is gonna change that?” Cas said, trying to see some sort of sense in what Dean was saying. 

“Telling him this, will be the one thing that I know will guarantee I will never have to see that look of hatred ever again. Because I know after I do this, he’ll never speak to me again. And after almost two decades of being told that I’m a worthless, disappointment…” his voice began to crack, “I can’t do it anymore Cas, baby please, just help me get through this weekend”. Tears began to roll down his cheek, Cas wiped them away and grasping the back of his head he leaned in and kissed his cheek. 

"Babe you know I'm here for you. But I need you to be sure that this is the right thing to do" Cas advised, with Dean now leaning into his shoulder his arms wrapped around Cas' waist. 

 

"I'm sure, Cas". He replied. They didn't speak for a few minutes. Cas rubbed his hand up and down Dean's back in attempt to comfort him. He looked up at Dean and kissed his forehead. 

They sat quietly on the hood of the impala, holding each other. As they gazed into the field the clouds that had painted a gray, foggy picture in the sky, had faded away. The sun shined on Dean and Cas heating up the black paint on the hood of the impala. As they basked in the warmth of the sun together, Dean, for the first time since he spoke to his dad on the phone, felt comfort. His anxiety had settled, and he felt at peace. The warm light on his face and soft touch of Cas' hands assured him that no matter what happened, as long as they were together he would never feel inferior again.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

It was morning, and Dean’s father was going to arrive shortly. Dean was sitting in the student union with Cas, bouncing his leg up and down, uncontrollably . He was picking at his nails, and fidgeting with his ring. Dean didn’t know what to expect. Finally, he saw Sam’s car pull up and waited for him to park. 

“I can’t wait to finally meet Sam, I hope he likes me” Cas said, trying to break the silence. “He doesn’t know about us right?” 

“No, he doesn’t” Dean replied, in a stressed tone. 

“Do you plan on telling him?” Cas asked. 

“Dammit, Cas! I have enough on my mind already!” Dean snapped. 

Cas pulled his hand off of Dean’s shoulder. Cas only wanted to comfort Dean, but with the given circumstances, that was nearly impossible.

“I’m sorry, Dean.” Cas said, withdrawn. 

“I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just that--” Dean’s apology was cut off when Sam walked through the door. “Sammy!” Dean gleamed as he stood up to hug him. 

“Dean! Man it is good to see you!” Sam replied.They embraced for a moment and then Dean grabbed Sam’s bag. “Who’s your friend?” He asked. 

“This is Cas, he showed me around on the first day, we’re pretty tight now. He wanted to meet you” Dean replied, not really sure of how to describe their relationship to Sam without revealing what it really was. Sam smirked at Dean, he never said “pretty tight” to describe anyone or anything before. 

“It’s so nice to see finally meet you Sam, I’ve heard a lot of great things” Cas said nervously as they shook hands. 

“Nice to meet you, Cas” Sam said and noticed that Cas’ hands were slightly sweaty and clammy. He assumed he was nervous, but didn’t know why he would be. 

“Well why don’t I show you where we--I mean, me, uh-- where I sleep” Dean’s face instantly turned red and his heart began to pound. He fucked up, and he knew it. 

“Uh, yeah, that sounds great…” Sam replied, now suspicious of why Dean and Cas both seem so off, “So, any idea on who dad wants us to meet?” 

Relieved he changed the subject, Dean quickly replied, “Not a damn clue, it makes no sense. He doesn’t give a shit, ever. Then all of a sudden he needs us to meet someone? What does he care if we meet someone he knows?” Dean said, his voice growing in anger. 

“I know, it doesn’t make any sense” Sam replied. 

Sam, Dean, and Cas went to go get coffee while they all nervously awaited their father and his mystery guest’s arrival. They sat at a small table, where Sam talked about Standford and the interesting classes he was taking, and about Jess and how proud he was of her for studying to be a surgeon. Sam could tell that Dean was anxious. His first instinct was that he was worried about dad, and whoever it was that he was bringing. But he sensed something else. The last time he saw Dean biting his nails, was when he was bringing his first serious girlfriend home. Her name was Jo Harvelle, and they were practically the same people. Which was why it didn’t last, they were both so incredibly stubborn. But Sam couldn’t understand why he was acting this way now. He also couldn’t understand why Cas and Dean have been avoiding eye contact the entire time. 

Cas felt that he shouldn’t be there, that this was Dean and Sam’s time to catch up. But Dean insisted that he stayed. Most likely for comfort, but honestly it was just making them both more nervous. They never had to pretend that they weren’t together. They were never public about their relationship, because neither of them wanted that. But this is the first time that they have had to pretend that they weren’t in love. That they were just “buddy’s”. 

Despite the fact that Cas was out of his mind anxious, he loved getting to know Sam. To him it was like learning an entire new side to Dean. Instead of just hearing about Dean’s life and what it was like, he got to be apart of it. 

“I just got a text from Dad, he’s outside of the student union building. Let’s go. Cas, it was great meeting you!” Sam said, as they all stood up and began to walk out of the coffee shop in the library. 

“Same to you Sam, hope too see you soon!” Cas replied. Cas left for his dorm because he knew it would be best for Sam, Dean, and their father to be together. 

Sam and Dean began to walk together towards the student union building. As always, without noticing, they take each step in almost perfect synchronization. They didn’t speak, they were both beginning to feel their hearts pound through their chest. Sam’s hairline began to dampen slightly with sweat, just like the palms of Dean’s hands. 

Finally they arrive at the building, where they see their father sitting on a bench by the entrance. John Winchester stood up, and like a soldier Dean formally shook his hand. 

“Hello, sir” Dean said. He swallowed what felt like a lump in his throat, and returned his hands to his sides and stood up straight. The last time they spoke, they had a huge argument about him leaving for college. It was barely settled when his dad just threw a few grand in cash on to the table, and told him to get out of his sight. 

“Dean, Sam. It’s damn good to see you.” He said. His leather jacket was worn down, like Dean’s. His boots were scratched and had a few holes by the heals, like Dean’s. “Now I’m not gonna beat around the bush, I’m here for an important reason.” Sam and Dean stiffened. “About sixteen years ago, when I had left you both with Bobby to go to Vegas and clear my mind… I met a woman. We had some drinks, and one thing led to another...you boys don’t need the details”, Sam scoffed at the idea that he made this entire trip to tell them about a one night stand he had over a decade ago, “well, nine months later that woman had a baby boy. And he’s my son, and your half-brother. His name is Adam.” John took a deep breath after finally revealing to them what he had been hiding for the majority of their lives. 

“You mean to tell me, we have a freakin’ brother, that we never knew about?!” Dean yelled, “and he’s here?!”. 

“How could you hide something like this from us?!” Sam screamed. Dean and Sam were fuming, and confused. How could their father hide a sibling from them for their whole lives? 

“I know that I should’ve told you--” 

“Damn right you should’ve told us!” Sam interjected. 

“But I’m telling you now, and he’s here. So I’d like you to meet him. Now you need to understand, his mother just died. She had breast cancer, so despite the anger towards me that you are feeling, don’t let him be the outlet for that. ” John said. 

Dean was in awe, this was unbelievable. Not only did his father lie to him for sixteen years, but now he has to meet him and pretend to be a welcoming family? This was total bullshit. 

They then saw Adam walk out of the parking lot, he was tall like Sam and Dean and had short, dirty-blonde hair like Dean. He was wearing red and black plaid shirt, jeans and boots. Definitely a Winchester. Adam walked up and shook hands with Sam, and Dean. 

“Long hair, you must be Sam. Which makes you Dean, wow, I can’t believe I’m finally meeting my brothers”. This frustrated Dean, now they’re brothers? How is he supposed to instantly be brothers with a complete stranger? Dean raised Sam, they were inseparable as kids, there isn’t anything Dean wouldn’t do to protect him. How can he replicate that feeling towards someone he doesn’t even know? Dean didn’t speak. He was angry, confused and upset. He just stood there, looking at Adam, seeing how much he looked like his father. 

“Listen man, this isn’t your fault but I can’t handle this right now, I need to leave” Dean snapped. “I’ll see ya around Dad”. Dean nodded at Adam and patted Sam on the back as he began to walk away. 

As he headed for Cas’ dorm, a billion thoughts ran through his head. But at the same time, all he could think about was Cas. He’s never needed him so much, for the first time in his life he has someone to turn to, someone to listen to him. It felt like Cas was a million miles away, he need to see him, to be held, to touch him.

Dean finally arrived at Cas’ dorm, and he banged his fist against the door three times. 

“Cas?! Are you in there?” His voice almost began to break. 

Cas opened the door, “Dean, what are you doing, I thought you weren’t--” Cas was interrupted as Dean grabbed his face forcefully and pressed his lips against his. He pushed him a few steps back and slammed the door behind him. He began to remove his leather jacket and threw it on the floor, he slid his hand under Cas’ shirt and began to run his hand up his chest. Dean let out a whimper, as a tear began to roll down his cheek. Cas pulled away from Dean, astonished and confused. 

“Dean, what happened? Oh my god babe you’re crying, talk to me” Cas begged. 

Dean sat down on Cas’ bed and put his face in his hands. Cas sat next to him and put his hand on Dean’s leg. 

“Baby, please. Was it your dad? Did you tell him?” Cas asked. 

“It wasn’t him…” Dean said, brokenly. “He lied to me, for sixteen years...for sixteen fucking years Cas!” Cas pulled him in close and rubbed his hand in small circles on his back. “He had a kid with some woman, and never told us, his name is Adam, and he brought him here”. Cas stopped moving. His mouth dropped. 

“Are you serious? He never told you that you had another brother? That’s fucking insane!” Cas exclaimed. 

“I know” Dean said as he began to pull himself together, “ I didn’t even talk to him, I had to leave. It was all happening so damn fast and then he called me his brother, and I just couldn’t think straight. I just wanted to be with you, I just needed to see you”. 

Cas didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort him. He decided to not say anything. He placed his hand under Dean’s chin, and turned his face towards his. He cupped Dean’s face and kissed his forehead. 

“I love you, Cas”. Dean whispered.

“I love you too” Cas replied. 

Cas kissed Dean, slowly he caressed Dean’s tongue with his. They slowly began to lay down on Cas’ bed, not separating their lips. Dean slipped his fingers into Cas’ soft, brown hair. Both laying on their sides facing each other, they continue to peck at each other’s lips. Dean attempts to playfully lick Cas’ lips, but accidentally bangs his front teeth against Cas’. 

“Ow, shit, oh my god” Dean blushed. Cas couldn’t stop laughing. Dean moved over on his back, “I’m such a fucking dork, oh my god”. Dean said, his face now completely red. 

“Oh, come on that was funny! Babe you’re getting so red, your freckles are gonna burn off!” Cas kissed him on the cheek, then tapped his nose with his finger, “Oh relax, I think you’re adorable”. 

As they laid there together, holding hands laughing, Dean forgot about his father, and Adam, and the betrayal he felt. He could lay with Cas for the rest of his life and nothing else would matter.


End file.
